Trip To Scouseland

Hi all

It’s been a busy few weeks since I became the manager of Beechside. Apart from whipping the lads into shape during training, my assistant, Peter Lewin and I procured two cheap-day returns to Liverpool, as we attempted to sign a young, former Liverpool youth player.

Here’s how the day went:

7am – Woke up in bed (obviously) at Darklands B+B, just outside Morecambe. The wife is still in London ‘tying up loose ends’ before we house-hunt up here. We haven’t argued at all, as our relationship remains as strong as it ever was.

10am – After a ‘quick breakfast’, I meet up with Peter who has been working all night, during his first shift at Marco’s ‘Gentleman’s Club’. He’s looking pretty tired but comes up with the goodies – the two train tickets and the two bottles of Fosters Ice, he’s nicked from the fridges at the club! These should keep us warm until we wait for the off-peak trains to start. Cheers!

12pm – After a short delay, we arrive in Liverpool and are met with a sea of flowers and teddy bears. After a while, we realise that they’re not for us at all but for some poor dog that got run over.

3pm – After a couple of swift pints in ‘The Scouse’, we meet up with the agent, who happens to the player's Dad. He’s a cheeky fellow, as all scousers are, if you believe the hype. And we do believe the hype.

4pm – We just get inside the Young Offenders Intuition, the flashing of free passes for Marco’s Liverpool branch of his ‘Gentleman’s Club’ soon changed their minds. Some things never change, eh?

5pm – We’re back in ‘The Scouse’ celebrating our first signing, as Darren McAuley has agreed a three year contract, one year of which will be done on tag, as agreed with the probation officer. We’re still in the dark about why he was there in the first place, but Marco seems relaxed enough when we ring him up and tell him the good news.

11pm – Arrive back at the B+B totally bladdered, Peter has gone off to work for Marco, that’s 24 hours he’s been working for! The wife has been trying to contact me but I couldn’t give a toss. She knows where I am if she wants me. Not that there’s anything wrong with our relationship of course.

So I’m delighted to welcome Darren to club and so far in training, he’s been looking good. Once he finishes having a shower, I would like to see how good a footballer he is!

That’s footballers banter for you, there’s nothing like it!

So we’re gearing up to play a number of friendlies in the next few weeks, so we’re really looking forward to ‘getting stuck in’ as the new season approaches.

Cheers

Paul