Hi allApologies for the lack of updates, but let’s face it – you aren’t really arsed are you? Things have been quiet at the club after last month’s ‘fire incident’ at the Pool Hall. Carlo’s been keeping a low profile, in fact I haven’t seen him for a week, which is strange as he’s always around.
In his absence, the young lass who does the catering, I forget her name, has been doing various tasks in the office. She’s at university and works with her ‘Nan’ in the club bar on match days and like all students - she well fit! I better not let the wife read this!
So with Christmas coming up, I better make a move sooner or later – or else I’ll lose precious blackmailing time. I just hope this student hottie doesn’t find not that I never won the European Cup with Ajax in 1995, she seemed quite impressed. If I’m to bag her, a bit of manipulation will have to come into play to keep things sweet.
Before anyone comments - she’s 18, so she’s well legal!
Speaking of young girls and infidelity, I’ve added a new player to our ranks after watching ‘The Jeremy Kyle Show’. Andy Gibson is a former Everton youth player who seemed devastated that the baby he had with his intoxicating tracksuited-ladyfriend, wasn’t actually his. Apparently the lass shared a bath towel with her brother or something. Sadly she’s only 15, which was bizarrely pointed out by Carlo. A day later, Andy turned down a lucrative contract with Tranmere has agreed to sign for us, as well as working for Carlo as his gofer. A bit of a strange decision that if you ask me!
I’m delighted with the signing – Andy is a cracking midfielder who has got a brilliant future in the game if he keeps his head screwed on. I’m equally-delighted that my totally-original idea of using the telly to scout players has paid off. We’ve already made contact with the actor who played the Mexican lad in the film ‘Goal’ and talks seem positive. The Chuckle Brothers also looked half-decent in the episode where they played for Rotherham. That’s a joke by the way - we could never afford them!
I’ll tell you what – that Jeremy Kyle Show has some ruff characters on doesn’t it? I could seriously fill my boots with the fillies on there! And the best thing is – I probably wouldn’t have to pay for it!
Can I add that my marriage is fine and there’s no sign of any problems. So with that – I’ll speak to you soon!
Cheers
Paul
