Monday 26 October 2009

Bungs, Urgent Calls and Arson Attacks

Hi All

Well after our first defeat of the season, a 1-0 reserve at Kendal. I took the lads to a local pool hall for a bit of co-ordination practice. Now I would have taken them to Carlo’s Gentleman’s Club, but the floors in there are being relayed. He wanted us to go to his new club in Blackpool but I went against his wishes and sought out a former team-mate of mine, Barry Cole, who owns ‘Coley’s Hole’ - a dark and damp pool hall/mock-up beach bar on the outskirts of Morecambe town centre.

Anyway, I took the wife along to make up for not being around as much. This week I’ve been moving office in the ground and just haven’t had time to fiddle with my new Internet passion that is Second Life, never mind doing the same to the wife. Our relationship is fine before anyone asks.

Despite the lack of time together, the wife really does seem pleased with herself these days. I think it must be the fact that she’s struck a deal with a pole dancing teacher, who will hire out the wife’s new yoga studio. Which reminds me, that dodgy little scouse prick, Darren McAuley, has signed up for one of her yoga classes. He’s just finished his second week and he looks pleased as the wife for some reason. Well, I bunged one of the Kendal lads to take the bastard out. He did just that and despite Darren being out for at least 2 weeks, I’m really pleased. He was getting too big for his boots and hopefully this will bring him down a peg or two.

Anyway, the night at the pool hall went well. I switched my phone off and had a great time with the lads. The missus was a diamond as she took our drinks orders without a word, to anyone. It was only when I switched my phone back on was when I saw that I had 12 missed calls off Carlo. I tried to ring back but he wasn’t in. ‘Bollocks to him’, I thought.

Now this is where the bad news comes in. The following moring, my phone had more missed calls again. I had switched the phone off as I was having a night of passion with the missus. Well I enjoyed it anyway. It turned out that Barry had tried to ring me, so when I rang him back he told me that his pool hall had been burnt down in what seemed to be an act of arson. Thankfully he’s got insurance with a firm that Carlo has just recently invested in, so he should be fine. Shocking business though.

Anyway, before I sign off, I’m contractually obliged to let you know that Carlo has opened a new pool and snooker hall, just a five minute walk from the newly-burnt out Coley’s Hole. For some reason he’s decided to expand this side of his business. I can’t help but feel a bit awkward that we went to Coley’s in the first place.

Anyway, speak you soon!

Cheers

Paul

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